


Margaret & Annie

by sbdrag



Category: Marvel
Genre: AU - children, but wade has a daughter, not they are children, oc fic, that he didn't know about, the boxes are here too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-31 18:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sbdrag/pseuds/sbdrag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day a girl shows up at Deapool's door declaring herself his daughter and telling him she and her her sister (who is not Deadpool's daughter) are moving in with him since their mother died. Deadpool and the boxes agree this is ok, but that the girls won't know he's Deadpool.</p><p>Let's see how long he manages that one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

“Hi, I'd like 12 large pizzas with everything you've got on them.”

[Better make it one hundred.]

“Yeah, good idea. Make that 100.”

Wade Wilson aka Deadpool aka The Merc With a Mouth aka... er... Wade Wilson was sitting on the couch of some crappy apartment he'd rented playing some lame fighting game (that he was BOSS at) wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. 

[Hey, why aren't we wearing the suit?]

“Yeah, why aren't we?”

{Because that last job shred it to bits and we have to wait for the new one to get done.}

“Oh yeah...”

[Don't we have extras?]

{We did. That was the last extra.}

[We need more extras.]

“Yeah, and extra peppers. And sausage. And pineapple. Oh, and peanut-butter!”

…

“What do you mean you don't have peanut-butter!?”

[No peanut-butter? What are they, _communist_?]

{We should go over there and blow the place up. Just in case.}

“Yeah, we totally should. We-”

There was a knock at the door, and Wade growled as he hung up on the pizza place. He paused the game, and stomped over, not even bothering to check the peephole before yanking it open. 

{Don't break it. We won't get our security deposit back.}

[We agreed to pay a security deposit?]

Wade paused whatever he was about to say as his eyes fell on his visitors.

“Are you Wade Wilson?” a young woman asked. She was scowling, frizzy orange hair sticking out under a knit cap. Her dark eyes met Wade's head on, almost as if daring him to say yes. Behind her was a shorter, younger girl with long, strawberry blonde hair. Wade scratched his head.

[The fuck are a couple of kids doing looking for us?]

{A job maybe? They could have been sent to be less conspicuous.}

“Will you answer the damn question?” the girl asked again. Wade blinked.

“Yeah, I'm Wade Wilson, but are you sure-”

“Couldn't be another Wade Wilson as ugly as you,” the girl said, pushing past Wade and into the apartment. The younger girl followed her in, seeming to ignore him altogether.

{Oh no she didn't.}

“Hey, who do think-” Wade said, turning and glaring at the redhead.

“Margaret Sampson. I'm your daughter,” she said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring right back. 

[Our what?]

“My what?”

“Your _daughter_ ,” Margaret said, drawing out the word in case he didn't understand it. “You do know about the birds and the bees, right?”

[Do we ever!]

{I never really understood that expression...}

“I know what it means. But... I mean... how?” Wade asked. Margaret's jaw dropped and she rolled her eyes in a perfect 'why me' expression.

“You and my mother, Lily Sampson, had sex. I was the result,” she said. 

[I don't think she thinks we're very smart.]

“Me either,” Wade said. He nodded to the other girl. “Who's that? Is she my kid, too?”

“ _Hell no_ ,” Margaret said.

{I think we should be offended.}

“She's my sister, Annie,” Margaret continued. 

“But not my daughter,” Wade said. 

[Just to be clear.]

“I am the only person in this room unfortunate enough to be related to you,” Margaret replied. 

{I really think we should be offended.}

[I agree.]

“I am offended,” Wade said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I'm offended you're not wearing pants, so I guess we're even,” Margaret replied. She turned when the other girl, Annie, caught her attention. 

[Are we still offended?]

{I think we can call it even. After all, she didn't get to see us in the suit.}

[Touche.]

“Oh my _god_!” Margaret came storming out from the direction of the kitchenette. “How do you even _live_ here?”

[With pizza and porn.]

“First off, this place is a _sty_ , and I feel like I'm insulting pigs when I say that,” Margaret went on. “Secondly, _what the_ **hell** _is that_ **smell**?”

{Did we remember to get somebody to clean up the toilet from last week's chimichangas?}

[Oops.]

“ _And_ you don't have _anything_ in the fridge besides beer!” 

“What wrong with that?”

“You can't live off beer!” Margaret said.

[Is she sure about that?]

{Didn't we go that one week without food and just beer?}

“I don't think we even had beer...” Wade said, cupping his chin. Margaret gaped at him, then sighed in exasperation. She marched up to him and held out her hand.

“Give me money to go get some real food,” she demanded.

“Um, excuse me?” Wade asked. Margaret glared.

“If I'm gonna live here, I'm gonna have real food,” she said. 

[Wait, back up, did she say live here?]

“She did. Who said anything about you living here?” Wade asked.

“I did,” Margaret replied. “Or are you gonna throw your daughter out in the street?”

[She's got us there.]

{But what if this is all just some scheme?}

“Yeah, how do I know you're even my _real_ -”

“You want a paternity test? Fine, _whatever_ , we'll do it later. Just give me some cash now so me and Annie can eat,” Margaret said, holding her hand up higher. Wade squinted at her.

[Should we believe her?]

{Well, she did agree to the paternity test, and it's not like we don't have the cash...}

[Oh! She could get peanut-butter!]

“Fine, but you have to bring back peanut-butter,” Wade replied, fishing his wallet out of the couch and handing her some rumpled bills. 

“Whatever,” Margaret said, counting them up before shoving them into the pocket of her nylon flight suit jacket. “Come on, Annie.”

And with that the girls were out the door again, leaving Wade in peace. He slumped onto the couch, picking up his controller.

[Why would any kid of ours ever come looking for us?]

{Maybe they don't know we're Deadpool.}

[Do we even want a kid?]

“Do we?” Wade asked. The boxes were quiet a moment.

[She's kind of an asshole.]

{So are we.}

“That's true...”

The door banged open, making Wade jump. Margaret stuck her head in, glaring.

“And do some damn cleaning, lazyass,” she said, then slammed the door shut behind her.

[We definitely do not want a kid.]

“Agreed.”


	2. Don't Get Attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Margaret makes boss PB&J. 
> 
> Wade makes a lot of quips.
> 
> Annie makes puppy dog eyes.
> 
> Wade is definitely NOT attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an outline for this somewhere. No idea where it went, but I think I would have ignored it anyways to do something different. Hope it's as fun to read as it was to write!

[So… why are we letting them stay here again?]

 

“Good question,” Wade said. He looked at Margaret, who was busy cleaning up his apartment while Annie ate a PB&J sandwich. “Hey! Why am I letting you stay here again?   
  


“Because I’m your daughter, dipshit,” Margaret answered.

 

[Oh. Right. In that case, why don’t  _ we _ have any PB&J?]

 

“Yeah, why don’t we?” Wade asked, glaring at his alleged daughter accusingly.

 

“Why don’t you  _ what _ ? I swear to God if you ask me to make you a sandwich again I will kick you in the teeth.”

 

{Because we already asked and she said no.}

 

[Thanks for telling us!]

 

“Yeah, seriously!” Wade added. 

 

“Ok, so, I knew you were crazy, but exactly how crazy  _ are _ you?” Margaret asked, walking up to her (alleged) father.

 

“On what scale?” 

 

[Yeah, like, crazy celebrity crazy or bag full of cats crazy?]

 

“From crazy cat lady to American Psycho,” Margaret said.

 

[Why has she seen American Psycho? Isn’t she like, twelve?]

 

{Actually, she hasn’t told us how old she is.}

 

“How old are you?” 

 

“Don’t change the subject!” Margaret paused. “But I’m fifteen.”

 

“What about her?” Wade asked, jerking his thumb towards Annie.

 

“Eleven. Now, craziness level is…?”

 

Wade considered his options. “Can I combine the two?” 

 

“... are you going to kill us in our sleep or not? That’s all I really care about.”

 

{Tempting. But I don’t think we have anything to benefit from it.}

 

[Other than getting rid of this annoying kid?]

 

{We don’t  _ do _ kids. Er, we don’t do kids  _ in. _ }

 

“Both. We don’t do  _ both _ of those.”

 

{Either. We don’t do  _ either _ .}

 

[Not  _ usually _ , but we might need to make an exception here.]

 

{But what if she is our daughter?}

 

[No way! She’s just scamming us.]

 

“But, I mean, it’s still likely she  _ is _ .” Wade scratched at his head.

 

Margaret gave him a look.

 

[Oh no. She’s giving us  _ the look _ .]

 

“Which look?”

 

{The look people give us when they’re around us for any length of time. The one where they wonder if we’re going to accidentally kill them.}

 

“We don’t kill anyone on  _ accident _ ,” Wade answered. 

 

[Yeah, but  _ they _ don’t know that.]

 

{Probably because we do  _ get _ people killed on accident.}

 

“That’s true,” Wade said. 

 

Margaret held up her hands. “Ya know what? You and your voices come to a consensus, I’m going to keep cleaning.”

 

[What did she ask us again?]

 

{If we were going to kill her and her sister in their sleep.}

 

“Nah, if we were going to kill her, it’d be face to face,” Wade said, sitting on his couch and returning to his video games. “But we’re not going to kill her.”

 

{At least, not until after that paternity test.}

 

“Damn skippy.” 

 

“No one says that shit anymore!” Margaret said. 

 

“I do!” 

 

Margaret scoffed, but went back to cleaning. 

 

After a few minutes, Annie walked over and sat on the couch. 

 

Wade eyed her suspiciously. “Can I help you?” 

 

Annie didn’t even look at him, but held out a plate. It held a near perfect PB&J sandwich. 

 

Wade took it cautiously, then took a bite. His eyes lit up, widening at the glory of perfectly portioned peanut butter and jelly - not so much peanut butter that it stuck to the roof of your mouth and drowned out the jelly, not so much jelly that it made everything wet and soggy and just  _ no. _ And it was  _ crunchy _ peanut. And  _ everyone _ knew  _ that _ was the  _ best _ kind. And peach jelly. (Wade had expected grape, honestly, but he had just decided that he was always going to buy peach jelly from now on.)

 

[Why isn’t this one our daughter!?]

 

“This is the best PB&J I’ve ever had!” Wade declared, jumping up. 

 

Annie held a finger to her lips, motioning for Wade to sit down. 

 

The man glanced back at his (alleged) daughter, then with dramatic motions, sat down quietly. 

 

Margaret rolled her eyes, but Wade didn’t see it.

 

{If Maggie isn’t our daughter, we should keep this one anyways.}

 

[Yeah, her sandwich skills are  _ boss _ .]

 

“No kidding,” Wade said, around a mouthful of sandwich. Annie looked at him, tilting her head. Wade swallowed. “So… can you talk or…?”

 

“She  _ can _ , she just  _ doesn’t _ ,” Margaret said, joining them on the couch. The girl sat between Annie and Wade, clearly making a border.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Why should she? You’re dying, by the way.”

 

“Shit!” Wade said, returning his attention to the game.

 

[Where’s our pizza, anyways?]

 

{I think we hung up before we gave them our address.}

 

[What? Who else could it have been!]

 

“Dammit!” Wade declared, throwing up his controller. He jumped to his feet, pointing accusingly at Margaret. “You distracted me from ordering pizza!”

 

“Then go get some.” Margaret seemed to be falling asleep, slouching against the back of the couch. She had her arms crossed, stubbornly forcing her eyes to stay open every time they drooped.

 

{Huh. Did we ever ask her where she came from?}

 

“No,” Wade said. “Where did you guys come from?”

 

“... Chicago,” Margaret replied. 

 

“By yourself?” Wade asked. 

 

Margaret glared. “Oh,  _ now _ you’re concerned? Yeah, by ourselves. I used up my savings on bus fare, now go get your stupid pizza so I don’t have to hear more about it.”

 

“What about your parents?”

 

Margaret rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m looking at one.” 

 

{Allegedly.}

 

“Allegedly,” Wade said. 

 

His (alleged) daughter rolled her eyes.  “Whatever. Our mom died. Why else would I come see  _ you _ ?” 

 

“Ok, ouch. But don’t you have like… aunts and uncles that would take you in or something?”

 

Margaret scoffed. “I don’t want to live with those fucking hypocrites.”

 

{Language!}

 

[We don’t really have a leg to stand on, there.]

 

{It’s the principle of the thing.}

 

“Yeah, language!”

 

“Really? I called you a dipshit like, five minutes ago.”

 

“That’s different. The F-bomb is big news, and you’re like… a baby.”

 

“Fifteen.” Margaret rubbed harshly at her eyes. “Does it really matter? We’re here now, right? So go get your  _ fucking _ pizza and stop whining like a  _ bitch _ .”

 

Wade jumped over the back of the couch to cover Annie’s ears. “Then think of the children!”

 

[The nice ones, anyways.]

 

Margaret glared, tensed.

 

Annie put a hand on her sister’s shoulder, and offered her a small smile.

 

The older girl huffed, puffing out her cheeks and turning her head away in a pout. “Fine.  _ Whatever _ .”

 

[Score. Deadpool: 1, Alleged Daughter: 0.]

 

{Actually, she has 7.}

 

[What? When did that happen?]

 

Wade stood, putting his hands on his hips. “Yeah, seriously, I could see, like,  _ three _ , but seven?”

 

{A lot of it happened between this chapter and the last one.}

 

“No fair! I couldn’t defend myself in betweens!”

 

{Technically, we could. We were still  _ there _ . Whoever’s writing apparently doesn’t think highly of our argumentative skills.}

 

Margaret waved her hand in front of Wade’s face. “Hey, earth to American crazy cat psycho lady!”

 

[Holy shit she actually took us at our word.]

 

{We need to get some cats to make that true, though.}

 

“Maybe she’s not so bad after all.” Wade looked down at his (alleged) daughter. “I don’t actually have any cats.”

 

“Don’t care.”

 

“But how can I be a crazy cat lady without cats?”

 

Margaret tugged on her hair in frustration. “If it bothers you, get some.”

 

{Fair point.}

 

Wade’s stomach rumbled then, reminding him of his distinct lack of pizza. “Oh, right, pizza.”

 

Margaret groaned, flinging herself on the couch and pressed both hands into her face. “ _ Now _ he remembers.”

 

Wade pouted, pushing out his lower lip. “You could have reminded me, you know?”

 

The girl’s hands flew into the air. “I  _ did _ !”

 

“You did?”

 

{She did.}

 

“She did?”

 

[She did.]

 

“She  _ did _ ?”

 

“I DID!”

 

“You-”

 

“No!” Margaret jumped to her feet. She narrowed her eyes. “No, we are not starting this loop again.”

 

[Party pooper.]

 

“Anyways, I’m going for pizza.”

 

Margaret flopped back on the couch again. “ _ Finally _ .”

 

Wade started to head for the door.

 

Annie stood up and held up her hands in a ‘stop’ motion, then gestured to Wade’s lower half.

 

The merc looked down, one brow cocked in confusion. There were his boxers, and… nothing else. He whirled on Margaret. “You were going to let me leave without pants on!”

 

The girl had an arm slung over her face. “Is there some part of ‘I don’t care’ that escapes you?”

 

[Again, ouch.]

 

{You know, if she were lying, you think she’d make more effort to sell her case.}

 

[So?]

 

“Are you saying her being a meanie makes it  _ more _ believable that she  _ is _ my daughter?”

 

{Yes.}

 

Margaret made a noise that was half laugh, half sob. “A meanie? Really?”

 

{She’s pretty tired.}

 

“Yeah…” Wade watched her a minute, as if trying to figure out something to say. “You should probably sleep, Maggie.”

 

“Don’t call me Maggie.”

 

Wade blinked, then grinned. 

 

Annie sighed, sitting down next to her sister.

 

“Whatever you say, Maggie!” He hummed cheerfully as he waltzed to his room (yes, three count step and everything) to get his jeans. And a shirt, a hoodie, and a baseball cap. Oh, and shoes. 

 

“It’s Margaret!”

 

Wade whistled as he dressed. 

 

[I wonder if she just hates nicknames, or if she just hates  _ that _ nickname.]

 

{Try a different one. We can science this shit out. Like Matt Damon in that movie that hasn’t come out yet in the timeline of this story.}

 

[How many times have people tried saving Matt Damon in movies, anyways?]

 

{I think someone calculated it somewhere…}

 

“If you say so, Mags!”

 

“It’s not-” the rest dissolved into a litany of irritated noises. 

 

[Oh, we should try Peggy next. That’s short for Margaret, right?]

 

{She’ll probably be annoyed even if it isn’t.}

 

“True.” Wade emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed and ready to go out. He opened his mouth to speak-

 

But Annie rushed up to him, holding a finger to her lips.

 

Wade closed his mouth with a  _ snap _ and looked down at her.

 

The girl pressed her hands together, then laid her hands on top of them. She pointed to Margaret. 

 

Wade looked back at the older girl, stepping carefully closer.

 

She seemed unaware of him, and her arm had slipped into her lap. Her eyes were closed, and her brows were drawn in troubled, fitful sleep. 

 

The merc looked back at Annie.

 

She clasped her hands in a ‘please’ gesture.

 

Wade frowned, looking back at the teenager.

 

[But… now we can’t call her Peggy.]

 

{But, on the plus side, she’s being quiet. And look at that face.}

 

[What? She sleeping.]

 

{Not her, Annie.}

 

Wade looked back to Annie.

 

The girl’s blue eyes were wide and hopeful, hands still clasped before her in a pleading gesture. 

 

“I always was a sucker for baby blues…” Wade muttered under his breath. Then he sighed, and pantomimed zipping up his lips.

 

Annie smiled, and sat next to her sleeping sister on the couch. She leaned into her side, and made a shooing gesture at the merc.

 

Wade rolled his eyes, and held up his hands to say ‘I’m going, I’m going’. 

 

Annise settled against Margaret’s side, closing her eyes to sleep as well.

 

The merc glanced at them over his shoulder as he opened the door.

 

[They’re kind of cute when they’re asleep.]

 

{You mean when Peggy isn’t talking?}

 

[Exactly.]

 

Wade stepped out of the apartment, closing the door softly and fishing out the key to lock it. Normally, he didn’t bother. But normally, he would be leaving an empty apartment. Without two kids in it. One of which was his daughter. Allegedly.

 

[No, stop.]

 

“Stop what?” Wade pulled his hood over his cap. It was drizzling and chilly, and he stuck his hands in his pockets. 

 

[That. You’re getting attached.]

 

The merc scoffed, taking the stairs at the end of the way two at a time. “Am not.”

 

{You almost forgot the allegedly that time.}

 

“No, I was varying sentence structure. It’s very important to keep reading interesting.”

 

[Psh, please, we don’t need basic grammar to make  _ us _ interesting.]

 

“I mean, you have a point. We are pretty damn awesome.”

 

{Or, the variance in sentence structure is meant to convey that your attitude towards Meg and Annie is shifting. Like you’re getting attached.}

 

[See?]

 

“I’m not getting attached!” Wade threw up his hands, startling a young couple that crossed to the other side of the street. The merc ignored them.

 

{That sounded defensive. We can still get attached - just, after the paternity test.}

 

“Right, ok.”

 

[But what are we going to do if she’s  _ not _ our daughter? Kick her to the curb?]

 

Wade tried to ignore the icky feeling in his stomach. “I mean, we could find her family.”

 

{But what if we  _ are _ her family?}

 

Wade wasn’t sure what he was going to do about that, either. He wasn’t exactly a ‘family man’, after all. 

 

But it didn’t matter, because he was definitely  _ not attached _ .

 

[Keep telling yourself that.]

 

Wade did. He kept muttering it under his breath as he went to get his pizzas, even forgetting to be outraged that they hadn’t made his order. He ordered a slice of plain cheese instead (ew) and walked back to his apartment. The pizza place people breathed a surprised sigh of relief - they were, unfortunately, accustomed to Wade’s pizza ordering.

 

He kept muttering it as he stopped in the mini mart to pick up blankets and two twin sized air mattresses. The woman gave him odd looks, eyes occasionally darting to the silent alarm under the counter. Wade didn’t notice, just bought his items and left.

 

He stopped outside his door, glaring at it suspiciously. “I am not attached.”

 

Then he unlocked and opened it, stepping inside.

 

Margie and wrapped an arm around Annie, and her brows had unfurrowed. She looked calm, breathing slow and even as she slept. She must have woken up at some point, because the green nylon flight jacket was draped over the girls as a blanket. Annie had pulled her legs up, snuggled against her sister’s side and snoring lightly. 

 

Wade stared. He shut the door, tip-toed theatrically across the floor, and went to his room. He set the bags down, then went and sat on the bed. He put his head in his hands. 

  
“ _ Fuck. _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Was going to try and make this a fancomic, but I'm probably never going to do that. So, maybe if I write it, I'll actually do it. Enjoy.


End file.
